Listen, if you're someone who feels sensitive easily, maybe it's best to skip this.
But if you're up for some straight talk – kudos! It means you're open for some self-mastery.
So, let's dive in.
Pain is inevitable, misery is optional.
-Tim Hansel
Chances are that you've thought about this, day after day, and week after week. Maybe you're feeling a bit better now after the joy and rest from the holiday season, but deep inside, you sense it.
Discomfort is all around – with your surroundings and even your identity.
You know you have potential, skills, dreams, and goals, but waking up early, addressing that suffocating relationship, incorporating that habit on your bucket list, or finishing work projects feels tough.
The idea of making changes seems distant.
This discomfort is common to you, is what you face each time action is needed.
You often feel lethargic, ignoring reality and unable to take action.
You might find yourself complaining, feeling disconnected from your identity, lost in scrolling while social media dictates your emotions and thoughts.
Negative emotions, disgust, anxiety.
Taking meaningful action seems far off.
You're aware that your inaction is leading to decline, yet you continue.
You let opportunities pass by you.
You let your family get distant.
You let your kids grow old.
Your job to become unsatisfying.
Your ideas to die before any heart beat.
And somehow, some people seem to be different.
Listen - pain is inevitable. It's baked in our human nature, appearing and receding.
What you feel is common, but dangerous.
No amount of wealth, titles, jobs, or perfect relationships can shield us from pain.
Pain accompanies us. Pain is life. Life is us.
And many of us despair in the face of this truth.
They become even more lost, paralyzed in front of it. Never able to transform, change, reinvent. Themselves or anything around them.
They lose their families, jobs, joy in life, desire to explore, to be curious, learn, their creativity. They lose the battle in front of any desire that implies action.
They slowly decline.
But many more of us choose to comprehend and endure the pain that results from action, not inaction.
Many more of us opt to welcome pain of action because we've realized that it gives us back great rewards.
Choosing inaction, although momentarily comfortable, deprives you of potential growth, change, evolvement. It's poisoning and killing your will. You lose self-respect. You self-neglect. You enter a long term suffering game.
You remain in mediocracy.
Instead, choosing for the pain of action will always be better than choosing inaction. With inaction, all you know is pain and the feeling that You Could ... (fill in the blanks).
Your great thoughts and desires are nothing without action.
So is motivation.
Can we stop normalizing that we're waiting to be motivated to do something? Or that it is someone else's responsibility to fix things for us and even get us motivated?
You don't need motivation to go take a shower, eat, pick up your phone and scroll. Nor do you for anything else you want or need in your life to change or achieve.
Motivation is a mirage.
So is waiting for it to start that idea you have, go after what you need or finish that project waiting for you at work.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting you should rush around constantly and hustle. Instead, I suggest you actively take charge of your life. Avoid being lazy and stuck in a sea of unfulfilled desires, dreams, goals, and needs that never actually materialize or bring about any positive change in you.
This summer, despite been a relatively tough and hard process with myself, I made a decision.
I chose to take a 3-month break from my career to focus on my family and myself. I also wanted to change my perspective on certain aspects of life, like always rushing and wanting to accomplish everything. I really needed for long time to find balance and prioritize my family and I had been neglecting myself for too long.
And then, I took action.
I finally took the step and transitioned to a new type of pain - the pain of action - I pushed against my own limitations, beliefs, and fears and took decisive steps forward and asked my boss for this break.
I pushed through the discomfort of personal growth and realized that, even though it's tough to slow down temporarily, to settle on the fact that I need this pause, I know it will benefit me in the long run if I stop avoiding this necessary process.
The pain of action compels growth.
Growth comes only from the pain of action.
Every day that goes by during this break brings me more clarity, I self-improve, read, research, learn, build. I take less, share more.
The pain of action brings suffering too; it's uncomfortable.
Yet, it guarantees the sharpening of all our skills.
It's not any easier, but, by taking control, you channel and guide this pain towards greater results than remaining in the same stagnant pain with no progress — just a fleeting desire, a wish for a change, for something better or just different.
As you embrace the pain of action, with each passing day of hardship, you'll fortify yourself, making it progressively easier.
The moment you embrace the pain of taking action a transformation begins.
It's an action that instills self-confidence, reshapes your identity, and positions you as someone dependable.
You even begin to feel a sense of pride, a positive acknowledgment of yourself. Humble, yet somehow content. You start your self-mastery journey.
You taste the feeling of growth and progress; you start to serve your own purposes and meanings.
You become useful.
You become purposeful.
You give pain a meaning, and everything begins to feel lighter.
Pain is essential to make an idea come to life.
Don't normalise mediocrity and just do what you need to do.
So let's build this year our own doer system that will allow us take action easily, but steadily.
Professionally and in personal life.
Let's build our systems that will allow us an incremental small growth each day.
Let's build our systems that allow us to do what most people don't. Lead with action. Take unknown paths, train our independent mind.
Let's build systems that helps us overcome our "lack of motivation". A system that will almost force us go in action mode.
Systems that will bring us back in our journey whenever we feel lost and paralysed again too. We're humans, it's natural to slow down and deviate.
And if you're one of those people who prefer to start things on Mondays, well, behold, I can't see a more fitting day than today:
Monday, January 1st, 2024.
Start of a new week, the inaugural month of a brand new year.
It's almost poetic for the brain.
Be fearless, change is good.
So, for 2024, I've opted for the discomfort of taking action, at all levels, rather than the pain of inaction.
I am dedicated to taking steps to establish the systems and habits required for professional and personal growth and expansion. An independent, creative, long-term mindset rather than chasing quick, fleeting dopamine-driven results paralysed in mediocracy systems and norms.
A system aimed to help me master modern life in a fulfilling and sustainable way for me.
And while I embark on this journey with myself, I aim to develop systems that enable me to share my insights, thoughts from my self-mastery journey with an online community consistently.
So - what do YOU chose? REALLY.
Pain of action or pain of inaction for 2024?
If you happen to find my ramblings useful, I'd be grateful if you'd consider subscribing! I've noticed this interesting thing that other online folks do - it's called a newsletter, and I'm seriously thinking about giving it a shot.
That wraps up this note, and I wish you all a fantastic 2024 filled with the pain of action!
-Luciana
P.S. If you are serious about implementing new habits and leading your ideas with action, do yourself a favour and read Atomic Habits by James Clear (if you haven't already). And there's a brilliant video from Joey Schweitzer talking about inaction and action and how it affects our wellbeing (which was a great inspiration for me months ago when I decided to take a break and embrace the mindset I just shared with you).